     Frequently Asked Questions |
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Table of Contents
How does this work exactly?Under my plan, we evaluate how many additional votes we need to turn a state blue. We move democrats into those states, county by county, until we have a critical mass and the balance is shifted.
Why does it make a difference where someone lives, a vote is a vote, right?Oh, it makes a difference, my friend. Remember that taxation without representation thing? It was pretty important in the distant past. Today every state has representation. But, thanks to the Electoral College, there’s representation and then there’s representation, if you know what I’m saying.
Take Wyoming, with a population of 493,782. Wyoming gets three electoral votes or one vote for every 165,000 people. Now, that's representation.
Take Alaska, with a population of 633,630. They get three electoral votes, too. I’m not doing the math. Let’s just call it one electoral vote per 210,000 people and be done with it.
Illinois, with a population of 12,419,213 has 21 electoral votes. That’s one vote for every 590,000 people (Illinois should look into getting Wyoming’s agent.)
You see? In Wyoming your vote is 1/165,000 of an electoral vote. In Illinois your vote is 1/590,000 of an electoral vote. Too math heavy? Well, Wyoming puffs you up to be a big, big man. In Illinois you are puny, puny, puny.
What if I don’t want to move to Florida?
Here’s how I figure it. You move Florida from the red column to the blue column and you’ve pretty much got yourself a Bluenited States. If that’s not incentive enough, consider this: the way we are starting wars you or one of your loved ones might be drafted some day soon. Think of this as a pre-emptive draft, only you’re going to Orlando instead of Baghdad. I mean think about it: Florida or Iraq? (If it’s hard to pick, remember that Florida will be blue just for you!)
There's a bonus. Do you have any idea how big an apartment you can rent in the state of Florida for $800 a month? And you’ll have closets the size of Greenland.
Why do I have to move? My cousin is staying here, why can’t I?A can-do person would kidnap his or her blue voting cousin and send him or her to Florida instead. I’m surprised you haven’t thought of that.
Can’t we secede?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to organize a decent secession these days? No, seriously, the paperwork is maddening. Unless you’re volunteering to do the photocopying, you can forget it.
Can’t we all move to Canada?
You don’t want to move to Florida, but you’ll move to Alberta? Do you even know what winter is? Don’t waste my time, you’re not moving to Canada.
Could the blue states just become part of Canada?
What has Canada done to you? Look, I’ve been around us and we’re nice enough, but let’s get real. Would you invite us to join your perfectly good but slightly naïve country? If we tried to join Canada we just wouldn’t blend.
Why not commit voter fraud?
Voter fraud is all about who you know. And, despite the rumors you may have heard, Barbara Bush and I were just good friends. Who don't speak anymore. And one of us has the other one's stereo. So, no, she won't be helping me.
In fact, I don't know anyone who would be willing to do me a favor of any kind, let alone an illegal one. So, unless you have some powerful and unethical friends (is that redundant?), we'll have to take a pass on this.
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