National Graft

I’m from Chicago.  We get the concept of the kickback.  In the United States, some states get paid for their participation.  Other states pay for participating in the United States.  I won’t call it bribery and extortion.  Instead I’ll just call it good business or bad business. 

So, for every dollar given in federal tax money what do the citizens of, say, Massachusetts get?   Thanks to the Tax Foundation, I may actually know.  It’s 78 cents.  Massachusetts as a state in the United States?  Bad business. 

The state of Wyoming gets back $1.13 for each federal tax dollar it puts in.  Good business.  North Dakota gets $1.75 for each tax dollar.  Great business.  Check this out, Mississippi gets $1.83 for each tax dollar it contributes.  Fantastic business.  

Illinois gets 74 cents in Federal spending for each federal tax dollar it contributes.  People, that’s a 26% loss.  Illinois can do better. 

Trust me, blue states, you’re going to be better off.  New Jersey is getting 57 cents back for each federal tax dollar.  Now, the Bluenited States isn’t going to go wild and give New Jersey anything like the $1.89 that Alaska gets from the United States now.  Still, we could look at maybe 80 cents on the dollar.  That’s a real step up.  Connecticut could go from 65 cents on the dollar to like 85 cents.  California could go from 78 cents on the dollar to 90 cents.  As a new country the Bluenited States will be hungry for your business.  Gives you, the state, the edge in negotiations.  You’ve got to like that.

Think it doesn't add up?

Well, prove it and I'll change the numbers.  I'm not married to these calculations, you know.  Because marriage between people and numbers is icky and godless.